Learning to Forgive...

Why is it that this is the one lesson in life I feel I have to continue to repeat? What is it that one expects me to learn? and more importantly, How can I forgive when YOU have hurt me so much?

As I have gotten older I have yet to learn to stop giving so much of who I am. I was raised to love unconditionally, to treat others as I would want to be treated, and to be respectful and gracious in return. I have not only been stabbed in the back repeatedly by some of the same individuals in my life on more than one occasion, but more recently a particular individual felt it was okay to stab me in the face. Unfortunately for me I didn't have my eyes open. Didn't see it coming.

I have spent many nights wondering, what more could I have done? What should I not have done? The only answer that I can seem to find is that although you felt it necessary to hurt me not once, not twice, but three times to the point now that you have hurt the ones that are the closest to my heart, and the only thing I can do is find a way to forgive you. Forgive you for being young, immature, selfish and insecure. Forgive you for not being raised better to know that one should never treat people the way you treated me. The level of disrespect and ungraciousness you have shown is one of a materialistic, self-centered child that you will only be able to learn through your own mistakes. Needless to say these are life lessons. I've been there before, so once again all I can do is forgive you for simply not knowing any better.

So in closing, Sara Paddison's quote is one that provides me with the answer I've been searching for:

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

And it turn all I ask is that,

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Even if it means my inability to change the individuals mindset... only they can make that choice.

Family Ties & Lies

Albert Einstein once said, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." 

I would have to agree, because human stupidity has become over whelming present recently.  One would never think that this quote could be considered one about family, but in the context I plan to use it, it will apply very well.

One thing that is for certain, in my life I have come to terms with the person I am loving, hardworking, stubborn, outspoken (to say the least) and most of all honest.  Stupidity has never been a quality that I tolerate very easily, but that doesn't mean I haven't had my share of "stupid" moments.  At least I have had the ability in my 27 years of life to reflect on the person I have become and not to be sorry for the person I was and not afraid of whom I may become. My many experiences have taught me patience, tolerance, and acceptance.  I have to learn to accept the things I cannot understand, and tolerate those who I cannot change.

To reflect on stupidty at its finest, I pose the question to be answered, why is it that family who are so quick to talk shit about each other are so quick to defend the one they talk shit about when it is someone from the outside who has put in their two cents?  Last time I checked, the dictionary defines that as being "Two-faced"...  and the stupidity from all come pouring in like a Japanese tsunami.  Needless to say, I thought stupidity ended as we got a little bit older, and a little bit wiser, but it has been brought to my attention that stupidity can be revisited even once we are in our 50's.  As I have come to notice.  Age-old woman have the ability to act as childish as their teenage daughters and sisters.  It is this woman who yearns for her own acceptance and self-worth in order to hold on to the little bit of life she has left. All I can do is pity women of this type.

Is Blood Thicker than Water?

From a scientific perspective the answer would be yes, from a familial perspective, the answer is also yes... How many of us encounter this daily in the relationships we have with partners whom we love? At what point does the water turn to blood, and the ones we love begin to make us the priorities in their lives? How much does one individual have to sacrifice to show they have made the one they love a priority?  Do we have to make sacrifices to obtain this unobtainable ideal? I could only hope that we all reach a point in our relationships when the sacrifices are no longer a necessity and at that point we become a priority based on our character, honesty, and integrity.  It is these values that truly are the blood of a relationship.  It is honesty that has the ability to trump all of our other ideals.  If we do nothing right in our lives or in our relationships, be at least one thing and that is honest. 

Be honest to our friends, our family, and our loved ones.  Be honest in the stories you tell to get the things you want.  As corny as it is the truth does set us free.  And one thing is for certain you don't have to like what I say but you have to respect the honesty in it all.  I am by no means claiming to be the most virtuous person, but it has taken me a long time to realize that it is this value that holds more water than any other.

I only hope that some individuals at some point in their life, whether today, tomorrow, or in the distant future, have the ability to become honest individuals and learn the meaning of gratuity.  Be gracious for the help you have received, for the advice, for the shoulder you cried on, for the ear that listened; for the enemy that you have spawned was the one you owed the most gratuities to.  But unfortunately for your the enemy that you have created can only look at you like the child you are and hope one day you too can own up to the mistakes you made that broke your family ties that were build on your bed of lies.

Corporate Politics & Opinions... are they as bad as they seem??

Can someone please let me know why it is that so many people are afraid of the truth? I was told yesterday by a certain executive that I was extremely opinionated. On one hand I take it as a compliment on the other as an insult. Why is it that so many people are content with the status quo and do things just because they are "told" its the right thing? I beg to differ. I feel that as people it is our duty to challenge those ideals around us in order to make strides and change the things we do not like. Speak out about the things that don't make sense, and demand answers to questions that are often skirtted around.

I have never been a fan of corporate politics, but yesterday I got a glimpse at it. It has come to my attention that if you walk the walk and talk the talk it will get you where you need to be. Why is it that we can't be rewarded for a job well done and not for the bullshit that comes out of our mouths? Maybe I never learned the gift of gab because I was raised on the morals that one should not lie, no matter how awful the truth may be. Lying gets you no where and the bullshit only gets you so far. I yearn for the day when men are not threatened by opinionated women, and realize that sometimes there are people who are more intelligent than their job title states.

Critisizing corporate behavior has become somewhat a passion of mine. Needless to say I don't have all the answers but sometimes I wonder why money is wasted on certain things. You know what makes employees happy, being recognized for a job well done, and being rewarded. You know what makes employees mad, not rewarding them, yet continuing to demand more and let us sit back and watch the amount of money that gets thrown onto useless projects while we sit without raises or compensations for 3+ years. GREAT FOR MORAL!

Needless to say, the politics are in every aspect of our lives. Wish I could find a job that didn't require it, because lord knows I despise it! So to answer my question about corporate policits, the answer is YES they are as bad as they seem... and my opinions DO make people nervous, but one thing is for sure, I will continue to have them and spew them at any available ear.

What is this blogging thing??!

Well.. lets see, where do I begin, I am new to this whole "blogging" thing of the 21st century so I figure I might as well jump on board and begin to talk out the side of my mouth as many people do these days in their undying quest for 15 minutes of fame. Lets see if this gets me anywhere, I highly doubt it but in the process hopefully I hope to entertain myself with the things that go on in my head that most people dare not say for the fear of being judged. Well news flash, I'm not afraid of that. I've spent the majority of my life being judged by others so if someone wishes to engage in a war of words with me than so be it, lets dance. 

No topic is ever off limits in my eyes, whether it be politics, religion, race, gender, sexuality, these are the topics of the American spirit that we so enjoying hiding behind the first ammendment in order to discuss these openly and honestly.  So lets see.. if something bothers me I say it.. if people do anything stupid that garnishes judgment and ridicule, than so be it I'll throw in my two cents just as others have done long before and will continue to do long after me... on that note with nothing else to say this evening, I bid you goodnight, farewell.. until tomorrow, or something interesting occurs worth writting about...